He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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