matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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