I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
