when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
