its not stalking. its research.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
