hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
