we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
