Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Randomize
