He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
there is puke in my bra ... again
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
