It's a beautiful day for a hangover
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize