I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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