Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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