I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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