We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
