Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
