i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Randomize
