If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize