Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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