oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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