is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
