I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
