I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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