you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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