Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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