You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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