so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
