We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
