There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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