Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
