if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize