Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
