just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
