I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He has the fingertips of a God
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