he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
