fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
