Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
