I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Randomize
