even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
