I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
