he wants to bone in the snuggie
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
