Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
