i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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