he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
