Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
