Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize