Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
