whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
they're like a gay fantastic four
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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