so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
