Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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