Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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