Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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