I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
