Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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