Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
