i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
dude. I can hear the air.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
