How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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