Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
