I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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