My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He literally asked permission to hit on me
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
